Twelve Days of Zombie Christmas

I’m not sure why my thoughts turn to zombie verse when I should be writing; maybe it’s because I’m brain dead?  Or maybe it’s because Andy didn’t share any birthday cake or leftover Chuckie Cheese Pizza?  Or maybe it’s because Carol Lunch Williams still hasn’t paid me for my bloggering nor has she promoted me from junior assistant co-blogger of Throwing Up Words, Inc.?  Or maybe because when  I was in junior high and should have been doing homework, I was daydreaming about the creepy NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD movie I had seen too many times?

Or maybe I’m just hungry?

 

on the first day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the second day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

two bloody skulls

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the third day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the fourth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the fifth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the sixth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the seventh day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the eighth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the ninth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the tenth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the eleventh day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

eleven people shrieking,

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the twelfth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

twelve runners stumbling,

eleven people shrieking,

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

merry christmas, you all.  sleep tight, and don’t let the zombies bite.

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7 Comments

Filed under Chris

7 responses to “Twelve Days of Zombie Christmas

  1. Denece

    Merry Christmas. Chris

    Thank you

  2. My favorite: four screaming nerds. I WILL be singing this to my kids on Christmas Eve. For sure.

    Awesomeness.

  3. Juliette

    Hahaha. Love the song! Great post!

  4. Andrea

    Ew, gross. But awesome, too.

    Merry Christmas!

  5. I can picture some lovely Christmas illustrations to go with this song.

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