What to Write?

I cannot believe this!
Third time!
Third time I’m writing this.

Quit the first.
Accidentally threw away the 2nd.
This best be the charm!

Weird things, today.
Or gross.
Or “Are you kidding me?!”

#1
Don’t hack, cough phlegm (just look at the way it’s spelled!), blow your nose or sound too congested around me or I’ll throw up.
Yup, keeps my girls laughing for hours. . .

So read this. When I reread just now, I nearly puked.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/01/11/woman-coughs-up-cancer-tumour_n_1198862.html

The thought of that coming out of her throat makes me gag. And it sitting in her hand?
Glad she’s cancer free, but if we are ever at a dinner party and she tells me this story, I’ll vomit in the kitchen garbage can, the front bathroom and in my hand every time I look at her afterward.

#2
The first time I taught a Writing for Children class at BYU–where I met the amazing Bryan Summers–I announced to the class that we were writing for kids in the class.
then I had them write a picture book.
I had Louise Plummer come talk about YA novels.
We read young adult lit.
And I had everyone write a bit of a MG or YA novel.
At the end of the semester one student turned in an adult novel as her final project.
I said, “What?”
She said, “This is a writing for children class?”
I gave her a C.
Today, she’d get an F.

#3
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304760604576428433276281402.html

I can vouch for this because it was at Wal-Mart when I saw that Kyra had gauged (yes, I know–that’s sad and sick and I cried) her ears.

#4
One of the big criticism of The True Colors of Caitlynne Jackson was that no mom would treat her children the way the mom in that book did.
OH, how I wish for the olden days, the 1998 days, when babies were more safe with their moms than they are now.
I wont say anything more than Casey Anthony.
And I will NOT post the horrible, horrible things I see EVERY day about man’s inhumanity to man.
And moms being the horrible villains in their children’s lives.

#5
What does this have to do with writing.
Nothing.
But
If you want your readers to read your work, you need to offer a fresh POV.
Or something that is truly funny.
Or something that is said in a new way. A beautiful way that has nothing to do with liver. (See cancer post)

#6
Are you still planning on entering the Project YoubetterWriteBetterThanCrapWay?
Finalize those edits and start turning stuff in–Quick!
Don’t
Hide your kids
hide your wife
or hide your husbands
Get ’em writing with you!

Hahahaha!

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “What to Write?

  1. Kyra

    Thay video is great. And so is coughing up cancer. I do it all the time I’m sure. Because I’m always sick 🙂

  2. Oh, Carol. You never fail to make me chuckle.

    (I’m so glad I’ve never had a cold when I’ve been around you.)

    • CLW

      I can’t even tell you about something that once happened when I was with one of my friends and then this disgusting thing occurred and then when I told the story (and still tell the story) I was dry-heaving so much the tears ran out of my eyes (and still do when i talk about it).

  3. I can’t believe someone can spend an entire Children’s Lit class writing, Children’s Lit, and then turn in an adult novel. This girl was lying to you. She knew it was a Children’s Lit class. I think she was just lazy and had an adult novel socked away somewhere that she dusted off to turn in as her final.

    Scandalous.

    Also, finalizing edits for Crapwriteway. *awkward fist pump*

    • CLW

      Hahaha! She was lying.
      “I didn’t know.”
      I just looked at her like, “Are you kidding me?”

      And good for you, Emily! *awkward fist pump, too*

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