Thas Ri, Fokes–Anotha Winnah

(Instructions: Read title with an accent)

And the winner is . . .

Lizzie Rossetti (or in real life, Rosalyn Eves!)
Bloodless lips angle
Toward the pulse in my throat.
The stake’s a surprise.


Goblin market girls
Sell their souls for honeyed figs.
Damned fruit is deadly.

Judge’s Comments about the Winning Verse:

“These binarial haiku capture the subtlety of this Japanese waka poetic form with a nuanced representation of paranormal romance that typically is not quantifiable in standard prosaic approaches to literary expression. The bouquet of each line possesses a certain indefinable yet ultimately sublime quality that manifests itself in the non-rhythmic prime-numerical pattern of syllabification Rossetti eloquently provides the traditional kigo of a haiku by situating the verse in an understated allusion to St. Valentine’s Day as a harbinger of spring. The kiru of the two poems sufficiently juxtaposes the escalating stages of romance imagined between paranormal creatures whose paucity of hemoglobin provides the energy for and the means to consummate this romantic interlude.”

And this week we have a second place and that goes to . . .

Holden A. Stake (or in real life Kim Woodruff).

Here’s what Chris has to say about this piece–
“A clever nom de plume sets the stage for two haiku that have somehow managed to conflate fleas and garlic bread.”

So Lizzie–YOU have immunity this next week and congrats for the nod to Holden!

FYI about Christopher E. Crowe. I mean, you need to know what we’re dealing with.

Best known for his literary, psychoanalytic, genre-bending zombie haiku, Chris Crowe is perhaps the most prominent critic and composer of paranormal Bad verse in America today. The West Atlantic Quarterly Journal and Review of Prose and Poesy once praised him for “putting the Poe in poetry” and the New York Times has never allowed him near their Bestsellers list. He has met—and dined with—Stephenie Meyer and Ally Condie, and although both authors are contractually bound to deny this, he was their inspiration for Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Xander Carrow, and Ky Markham. Chris lives in Provo with his wife, three dead cats, and a decomposing corpse of a poi dog.

The haiku-ist who has been eliminated is Dana Fox. Dana, please move over to the Play at Home side.

And Guess What?
We forgot to mention who is the winner from the participants of the Play at Home on Friday! (This is all my fault everyone. Kyra tried to get ahold of me but I’ve been having some icky stuff go on and I’ve been focusing on myself.)

Drum roll please, plus the playing of a fife and someone–maybe Chris can help again–dancing around in a leotard . . .

Our winner of a signed copy of an Ellen Hopkins’ arc is Rose Red (or in real life, Andrea Halls). Rose/Andrea– Please send your address to so we can get your book to you.


I cannot stress enough to you all participating in the contest that you must READ ALL THE DIRECTIONS. ALL of them. We had people who weren’t allowed to participate because they turned stuff in late. Just last week, on All Stars Project Runway, one of my favorite people was eliminated because that person did not follow the rules exactly. And you know as well as I, that we are just as professional (and are bringing in just as much money) as All Stars.

I always (not really always) say to people (not ALL people–writers) (and not all the times, but when I’m talking about contests) that a contest is a terrific way to get a read. Publishers or judges actually read (most) of your work. But–if you don’t follow rules exactly, you’re thrown out immediately. (Please notice all the ‘ly’ words in this paragraph!) (And all the parenthesis!)

Please follow the rules. And the best way to follow them is to read the directions. All of the directions. There may be subtle differences from contest to contest. There may be a time change. There may be a twist. There may be a specific word you’re supposed to use.


Are you ready for it?

You’re going to read everything I say AND memorize it, right?

(Gasp in a big breath of air, cough out a bug and get ready.)

We want you to write a scene set in some historical time. Please use 400 words or less.
This needs to be an obviously historical.
And well done.
And remember, this is a scene. We’d like there to be a character, sense of place, some dialog and the hint of a problem.
Be very careful, contestants. It’s going to be easy for you to fall into a cliched trap when writing this–and we’ll be looking to see if you’ve lost a limb when we read.

Remember to use a new name, and don’t tell anyone until after the judging is over.
The contest closes at five (5) pm on Wednesday, February 15.
Judging will be on Thursday and Friday and will close midnight.

Writers–pick up your quills (so you can mimic the way Chris writes every day)–and get to writing!



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16 responses to “Thas Ri, Fokes–Anotha Winnah

  1. Ooo. New contest is a challenge! Looking forward to reading the results!

  2. Estee

    Is that title with an accent or a drunken slur? I think I’d understand the judge’s comments better in a semi-altered state.

  3. Congratulations Rosalyn, Kim and Andrea! And I can’t wait for the historical scenes – Thursday won’t come soon enough.

  4. Um…does this have to be NEW writing? Like starting from scratch right NOW? Or can I use something I’ve already written? Like in the past? NO, not that meaning of ‘past’. Okay, I know it’s a historical, but I mean what if I wrote it last week? 🙂

  5. Amy

    Whew. I think I’ve got mine ready. I’m going to sit on it for a bit – we do have until Wednesday 😉 – I have to say I’m taking a chance on this one. I’m so out of touch with the voice found in historical stuff…maybe I should check soemthing out at the library ;0


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