A Very Important Quiz that Has A LOT to Do With Writing

I am  going to ask three important questions that would personally never happen to me and I would personally never discuss in public or on a blog. Please consider each of them carefully and think about how you, as a person, would personally react in these personal situations. 

1. You are driving a long distance in the middle of the night with three small children. To begin your journey you must  switch from one rather large highway, to an even larger freeway in order to get out of a metropolitan area. You think you know which exit to take. However, as you drive, you get a sinking feeling that you missed the exit. Do you

a. call local friends/family and clarify directions.

b. remain calm and keep driving. You have been watching the signs carefully and you trust that you would have seen the major interstate signs.

c. get off at the next exit, turn around, go back the other way, waste forty five minutes. Turn around again.  panic. Start to cry. Think about how stupid it is to cry. Why are you crying? Should you stop and ask someone? Who would you ask? What if you get carjacked? So you call a close spouse or friend sobbing that you are a moron. They tell you to calm down. You say, yes. I am calm. I am so calm. I am a responsible, capable adult. And finally, an hour later, go back the original direction and get to the correct exit.

2. You are driving a long distance in the middle of the night with three small children and you need to go to the bathroom. CLARIFICATION: ALL THREE CHILDREN ARE ASLEEP. Do you

a. stop at a gas station, get the baby, the toddler and the child up out of their car seats and drag them into the bathroom with you.

b. get off at a deserted ranch exit and umm, sorry Mom, pee on the side of the road.

c. pee in a diaper.

3. You are driving a long distance in the middle of the night with three small children and you see a very large semi and you get strong feelings of fear in your heart for unknown reasons but possibly because you have a vivid horrible imagination and read bad news stories, so you grip the steering wheel and push down the accelerator and pass the semi at eighty miles an hour. As you get out from his/her shadow, the driver brights you three times. Do you

a. think it must mean he’s saying hello. You feel happy inside

b. think you have a flat tire or some other issue with your car and take the nearest exit to check things out.

c. think he’s going to kill you. He is going to kill you because why did he do that? Why would he do that. you don’t know. You don’t know. what does it mean? Is he from a semi-truck gang? Is he mad you passed him? You start to cry because you’re not ready to die and you also dont know if you should really speed up or slow down and why did he do that? Sobbing, you call a close spouse or friend to see what it means. what does it mean? Why did he do that? What does it mean?

Please complete this quiz and have your friends take it too. It’s important and means a lot of things. It also has nothing to do with me or the upcoming Project Writeway challenge. Thank you and the end.

P.S. The winner of the Play at Home prize this week is Miss Ilima Todd! Yay!

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26 Comments

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26 responses to “A Very Important Quiz that Has A LOT to Do With Writing

  1. Ann Dee, this just made my day. Seriously laughing it up over here.
    Also, yay for gettin’ picked for the at home!…what does this mean, again?

  2. You get a book. I’m not sure which book yet. But I will know soon and I’ll tell you. Also, you didn’t take the quiz, Ilima. It’s really important.

  3. Oh, and can you email me your address?

    • Haha. C’s across the board. And did you know, in reference to #2, Louise P. may or may not have peed on a rug in the car (the rug they brought along for any dog accidents). Yep.

      Facebook messaged my address to you. Yipee for free books!

  4. Ann Dee–this is hilarious. 1. definitely C. 2.a (probably). 3-again, probably C. For some reason, being the sole responsible grown-up late at night does not bring out the calmest or sanest emotional reactions in me.

    Also, which one of the entries was Ilima’s? I’m always interested to see how well my personal preferences match up with the judges.

  5. Andee, don’t you have three small children? And how clever to pee in the diaper! Maybe I’ll buy a box just for such times.

    The last time I was in bladder distress was in that giant blizzard that we were all warned to stay out of, so I drove to Santaguin, missing the turn off twice. Finally I left a little steaming spot behind the car and called the Highway Patrol, because I broke off my windshield wiper, banging ice off it. When they got to me they were smiling. I think the spot still steamed. Oh, for a diaper and common sense.

    • Lynne, I do have three small children but that is besides the point. This is a psychological test for writers is all. Nothing to do with me, personally.

      Also, how brave to call the Highway Patrol. I wouldn’t dare.

  6. Estee

    1: C–except once I called the spouse I don’t know how “close” we would be, since he might be less than understanding about my hysteria and lack of common sense (not that I have ANY experience with is AT ALL).
    2: D–hold it until my kidney’s explode.
    3: D–I’m pretty sure that means the trucker is saying it’s safe to change lanes and drive in front of him. It would make me feel happy inside.

  7. Kelley

    1. B, 2. B, 3. none of the above. I would assume he was pissed off and get off at the next exit, go to a brightly lit truck stop.

  8. CLW

    Hahahaha!
    c
    c
    c

    And I agree with Lynne. I need to get some more diapers just for this occasion.

    And I will never tell MY diaper story. EVEH!

    You are so funny. Really.

    • You have a diaper story? how embarrassing.

      • CLW

        I do have a diaper story. Actually, several every day. As do you.
        Plus also, did you ever see that movie where the semi truck drover was chasing the man and trying to kill him.
        The man was in a car.
        The semi driver was in a semi truck.
        MAYBE three lights means pass.
        Maybe it means I didn’t like the way you passed me and I will meet you in hell.

  9. Monelle

    C every time. I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry. Only it’s a shame there isn’t a question where the kids are awake and start saying, “Why are we turning around?” “Do you even KNOW how to get there, Mom?” until you tell them to stop talking, and then you turn the radio up really, REALLY loud so you can’t hear them criticizing you scornfully from their car seats. These are people who can’t zip up their own PANTS without help and they’re criticizing you for getting a teensy bit lost for 45 minutes in your own town. Just hypothetically, of course.

  10. Dan

    I would just pee in the empty 44 ounce cup I just drained while continuing to drive. I know that is hypothetically more difficult for some people and it takes a lot of dexterity and focus. And it can back fire in a big way too.

  11. rbs

    Not only did I LOVE LOVE LOVE the quiz as it brought back driving-with-kid adventures of my own. One of my sons is still scarred from all the times I ran out of gas – even when we owned a HUGE club van that had TWO gas tanks! (I could never remember when I switched them over.)

    Diapers were not absorbent enough to serve as a porta-potty back in the day, but after reading about this resourceful idea, I’m purchasing some to put in my auto-emergency kit – when I actually put together an auto emergency kit.

    Oh, and I also loved all the great comments this post inspired.

  12. 1. C
    2. B. I can’t do the diaper thing and no way am I waking up small children. This from a Mom that has driven multiple times from CA to UT and back w/o spouse and with 3 small children. This summer-it’ll be 4 and I am SCARED.
    3. C-I’m paranoid of big trucks and always speed to pass them and then get nervous imagining what they might be thinking. I wish that they had their own special freeway.

  13. Emily Buhler

    c, a, and c, hands down. I have much too much of an active imagination, especially when it comes to driving, at night, in Utah

  14. Andrea

    Ha, ha, ha! My answers are c, b, c. I don’t think I could pee in a diaper, but since I live in the middle of nowhere I’ve learned to squat and pee (although I can’t do it right unless I have a tree to hold on to, so I’d have to find an exit with a good peeing tree).

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