The votes are in and the winner of the Dog on Face contest is Leisha Maw, #7.
“One day a dog sat on my face,” I told my boyfriend when he tried to kiss me the first time.
He just kind of stood there, lips puckered up like a blow fish’s for a moment. Then he backed away. Fast. “Okay?”
“I just thought you’d want to know,” I said. “In case I’m not so good at this. I mean, the only practice my lips have is with dog butt.”
That was the last time he tried to kiss me. I probably shouldn’t have told him that. Or maybe just waited until after.
Dogs are hard on romances.
And here’s what one voter said about it: It made me feel like I was in the conversation as it was happening, and I laughed out loud at the “dog butt” line.
So intimacy, clarity and humor. Congratulation Leisha. Send me your email and snail mail address to email@example.com and you’ll get a surprise.
And now for the Spooky/Horror Romance entries. Voting starts now and ends at midnight on Saturday. There’s only six this time so the pressure is on! Send your friends over to vote but don’t tell them which is yours and EVERYONE, email your votes to firstname.lastname@example.org. *also, it doesn’t hurt to comment on your favorite. The point is to learn from each other.
I had to drown a cat once. She was really just a kitten, all fuzz and poof and softness. She struggled, her little claws pricking against my skin like bee stings until she went all limp and soggy. Empty. Even her eyes looked hollow.
But it was better that way. Even for her. That way she’d never know pain. Or hunger. Or loneliness.
I understood loneliness. Until you came along.
You remind me of that cat, so small and weak. Hair soft and fine. Breath like a purr.
But your eyes are too bright.
It will be better this way.
Brushing long, black hair from her face, Katerina glided up the marble steps. Reaching an enormous pillar, she turned and sagged against it, half hidden in shadow. She surveyed the room, feeling the sunset warm her bare shoulder, knowing it played off her azure silk dress.
Staring at her, the prince pushed through the crowded ballroom, coming forward.
Fighting the remorse, Katerina smiled. He was a good man. She’d always liked him, but her time was running out.
He ascended the stairs, his eyes fixated on her lips.
One kiss. That’s all she, a lifeleech, needed to ensure her survival.
Sheriff Love blasted her pistol in the air. “Let the showdown begin!”
I took a step, the dust from Main Street swirling about my red Tony Lamas.
My ex-boyfriend swaggered forward.
I swallowed, my mouth dry, and took another step.
He rolled his shoulders, hand to his holstered gun.
I gripped my bow and grabbed an arrow from my leather quiver.
The silver barrel flashed in the sun.
I pulled back on the bow.
My arrow pierced my ex’s heart. It burst out of his chest and flew into my hand.
I stuck it in my pouch.
Cupid strikes again.
There I was, about to die. My last symphony performed. Ready to give up the ghost. The final The End. And all I could think about was that I’d never kissed anyone.
Not even close.
No nose to nose bump because I didn’t turn my head just right. No peck on the cheek. Not even my hand pressed to lips in an old-fashioned foray into romantic bliss.
So before he could get a good bite out of me, I grabbed that zombie and planted one on his undead lips. Then I pulled away, breathless.
And his jaw dropped.
A glimpse of onyx hair, a curve of crimson lips beneath a shimmering,
blood-red mask, she weaves through the crowd of laughing, dancing
creatures of the underworld. For one night, we are all someone else.
Then she escapes though a door, a flutter of white and red streaks.
Stumbling through, breath catching, I must see her face.
But I see only an empty ally…
…two bodies on the ground…
Hands, stronger than my own, snake around my neck. An onyx wig falls
to the concrete.
A man laughs in my ear. “Third one tonight,” he says.
THAT’S IT, FOLKS. VOTE AWAY.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I’VE LEFT YOURS OFF!