Too Many Unanswerable Questions

Ann Dee has done a great job with this advent.
Are you writing Christmas miracles? We need them.
It has felt, to me, that the world has come to a screeching halt.
There are no adequate words.

I’ve been crying since the tragic Connecticut shooting.
Can this be real?
Can this have happened?
Would someone actually go to a class of such young people, into the classroom of BABIES, and shoot them multiple times?
How?
How could he frighten them in such a terrible way, and then kill them?

Why?
Why would he do it?
And how could anyone make light of this terrible situation, as has happened since?

How do you tell the younger sibling of a six-year-old that their brother or sister, their best friend, their playmate, is never coming home again?

The questions get darker, get harder, and I hold them in, say them to no one, don’t even let them out of my mouth.

Since this awful event, this terrible tragedy, I have worried what I can do.
Pray, yes. Beg God for relief to those who must be in agony.
Say the proper words to those I love. How they have made my life what it is, how good it is.
Hug my girls. Tight, too tight, whispering against their hair even though they are as old as the youngest teacher killed.

But what else?
There must be something.
Remember, yes, remember.

Here are their names. As I read through tiny bios, I’ve wept again and again. The list grew so long that I couldn’t keep track. So many. So many.

First, the babies:

Charlotte Bacon
Daniel Barden
Olivia Engel
Josephine Gay
Ana Marquez-Greene
Dylan Hockley
Madeleine F. Hsu
Catherine V. Hubbard
Chase Kowalski
Jesse Lewis
James Mattioli
Grace McDonnell
Emilie Parker
Jack Pinto
Noah Pozner
Caroline Previdi
Jessica Rekos
Avielle Richman
Benjamin Wheeler
Allison N. Wyatt

And those who tried to save them:

Rachel Davino
Dawn Hochsprung
Anne Marie Murphy
Lauren Rousseau
Mary Sherlach
Victoria Soto

But I want something more physical, I want–in some way–to help, and I will continue to consider this.
My words are weak. They tremble. There is no power.
Still I must say,
I am so sorry for this great loss. I am so sorry to all who loved these women and children. I am so sorry for those who suffered a loss that will completely change them.
I am so sorry for our country.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Too Many Unanswerable Questions

  1. I, too, have ached for them and for some way to help. As a writer, my greatest strength is the power of my words, and even though they’re just words, I intend to write a letter of sympathy to each and every family. I read a news report in which a Newtown woman asked, “Is this just another news story to the rest of the country?” I want them to know that no, it is not just another news story. Their pain is shared by us all, and we mourn for them and with them. They are not alone.

  2. I love Kasey’s comment. I don’t want this to be ‘just another news story.’ This is painful and, as Carol said, unanswerable. There are so many questions. So much heartache. I feel as if I’ve been living in a cave these last few days. Everything, EVERYTHING, seems so unimportant right now. Perspective can be a bitch sometimes and sometimes she can be just what we need.

    I too, hold my children closer each night.

  3. This is a little late (the snow’s been in my brain as well as outside,) but I’ve had the same thoughts about doing something. Like Kasey, I’ve wanted to write something to them. What about a holiday card campaign? We’d have to figure out where to send them, but what if we could create a snowstorm of cards, Hanukah, Christmas, Thinking of You, etc.? Just to let them know how many people have these families in our prayers?

  4. WASHINGTON – The U.S. Postal Service has created an outlet for the outpouring of support, following the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. on Friday.

    Business News Daily reports the Newtown post office has been taking calls from people across the country wanting to send letters, care packages and drawings from children.

    Now there is a dedicated a post office box for them.

    If you would like to send your condolences, you can send them to P.O. Box 3700, Newtown, CT, 06470.

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