The Day of Accountability

These keep coming, don’t they?

Why yes, yes they do.

So how has it gone for you this week? Here, well, I am starting to feel that big worry of overwhelmedness. Know what I mean? So much rides on what I do. Will I do it well?

Then, the biggest question of them all, does it matter? Does it matter if I try to write the best book I can? Should I throw in the towel?

Here’s the deal–I want to be a writer, right? Even wallowing in the discouragement of it all. And when you get that icky feeling, I think it’s okay to take a step back and analyze what you’re doing, right or wrong.

Track changes works on the non-fiction, but not on the DD. 30 students manuscripts to read. A chapter of another book to rewrite that needs far more work than I thought. Calls. Emails. New work. Revision. Books with friends. Schedules. Conference chats. Classes. A website one month overdue. Another 5 months overdue. More and more and more.

Then the house. The house.

Plus, will I find a place of my own?

Today I challenge you to first, make your accounting to yourself. How did you do? Was the week as good as you hoped?

And then take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is this worth it?”

What if I never sell another book?

What if I never get the acknowledgement that I really want?

What if I don’t have the energy to run the conference, even with the amazing people who work so hard on it with me?

Would I keep doing it all?

Then, if you feel as overwhelmed as I feel right now, do something for YOU. Something that isn’t work–because writing is HARD work. Do something you love.

Good luck and I’ll see you next Friday (and the Monday and Thursday before that). Because we all know– I’ll be back.

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11 Comments

Filed under Depression, Publication, writing process

11 responses to “The Day of Accountability

  1. I’ve done a lot of dragging my feet this week. I’m waiting on people for this manuscript and waiting on other people for that manuscript. There’s a lot of waiting in this industry. 🙂 I finally caved today and started plotting a brand new shiny idea and it’s like taking a big breath after swimming under water for a long time. So honestly, I don’t know if it’s worth it, but I can’t live without it anyway.

    Also, I’m seeing Warm Bodies tonight, one of my favorite reads of 2012. Romance and zombies and eating brains. I can’t wait.

  2. Wow. You just made my life seem a whole lot less stressful. I hope you’re taking lots of deep, healthy breaths. I am hoping to come to that conference you’re planning. Hoping there’ll be more info about it here. I’m a willing volunteer who worked at several SCBWI WWA conferences as part of the Advisory Committee. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do. ^_^

    What have I done this week? Started working on first round edits which editor gave me less than two weeks to complete. Plus some important blog posts. And lots of other stuff that was too traumatic to share publicly.

    Write on CLW. Love, love, love your novels. ^_^

    • CLW

      I’m still feeling down in the dumps. 😛
      Yippee about your work! And thank you for saying that about my books. I’m feeling super-needy, so that made me feel happier.

  3. benschwensch

    I’m still keeping up with the blogging schedule we’d set, but I’d like to be a little more “ahead” with it.
    The exhaustion I’m feeling has been relatively debilitating this past week, so even all the READING I hoped to get done didn’t happen. I did finish one “historical” written about my same subject. I’d been avoiding reading it for several years, even though it was short, because I didn’t want to (1) find out my story had been “done,” or (2) be accused of plagiarism if I had something similar in my book once it’s finished. As it turns out the book I so feared was absolute garbage: the writing poor, and NOT in a “novel” mode; the editing, non-existent; and the historicity just SO wrong it curled my toes. Needless to say, I won’t divulge the title or author.
    A GOOD note, however: my husband found a bunch of NEW information about my era (1st C. A.D.) because of a fairly recent archaeological dig. I watched the historical film with him yesterday and it brings SO much life and SO many specifics about their life, I know it’s going to make the novel sound that much more real!

    • CLW

      Don’t work too hard, Missy. I’m thinking of you and worried about you. Know you’re in my heart.

      • benschwensch

        Thank you—I need that right now, as much as YOU are thriving on the good words about how much your books mean to the rest of the us! And, believe it, they mean a LOT!

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