A few things

1. Today while I was washing the dishes I had this thought: I am pregnant with forty two children. Then I thought: What if I really was. What if I had to make the announcement and I would be on TV and Cam and I would be crying and hugging? Would we? Not sure. Then I thought about what would happen if I shaved my head and when Cam got back from the library with the boys I acted like nothing was weird. What? What are you talking about? These are my thoughts all day. Big announcements and shaving my head.

2. I want to say that recently I’ve realized that everything is okay. No matter how I manage to do it, it’s fine. What I mean is, I think too often I compare myself to others or maybe I don’t even do that, but I compare myself to the person I think I should be. I should be doing this more, I should be writing that more, I should be wearing clothes more.

I worry about my kids. Are they happy? Do they have friends? Are they being bullied? Are they bullies?

I worry about my writing.  Do I take enough time to write? Too much time? Is it worth it? Why isn’t more happening? And faster?! It should all be quicker!

I worry about our house. Why don’t I have cool paintings up? Why don’t stay on top of laundry like a normal person? Why does my room, no matter how hard I try, always pile up with clothes and toys and books and candy wrappers? Why do I eat so much candy? Why is there no good candy in the house right now?

I worry worry worry. Those are just the tip of the iceberg.

So, here’s what I’ve decided: To Stop. I am done with it. I am going to be enough. That’s my goal.

Who else wants to goal with me? You don’t have to. I will not feel badly if no one wants to because I am going to be enough.

3. Finally, these past few months I have been watching this show. Don’t watch it. It’s dumb. And it got canceled. And I WAS SO MAD AT THE ENDING. But secretly I loved it. Cam wouldn’t watch it with me because he is very picky and I am too but I still loved this show. There are many reasons why. Here’s one: it’s about a girl who is finally feeling like an adult. She finished med school! She has a job! Her own apartment! But then everything comes crashing down when she realizes she is the same person on the inside despite these grown up things that she had accomplished. I don’t know why I’m telling you this other than to say these two things:

A. I am a grown up but I feel like a kid on the inside.

B. I HATED the ending of this show. I already said this but I keep thinking about why I hated it. It also made me think about how I end my own books/stories. I wonder if I make people mad? I wonder if the writers of the show were right and made the most logical decision but my heart was somewhere else OR if I AM RIGHT!

Endings are so important because they are the last thing the reader remembers from their experience. It’s important not to tie a bow on it, but it’s also important not to leave things hanging and even more important to make sure the ending feels right in regards to what has come before. I am a big advocate of not only trying many different endings, but getting a lot a lot of help in choosing what is the best way to leave things off. With a novel, this is a big big deal.

Next week, I will post some endings that I loved and some maybe that I didn’t love so much. Does anyone have any examples of either of those right off the bat?

I think that’s all for now.

Run Run Running Behind

Have too much to do.

Final read-through of this novel, then work on two books with Cheri–also finals–and then the non-fiction final I’m doing with Laura. Not to mention the non-fiction with Melanie.

So I am behind.

But I have been thinking of everyone.

And I have three questions for you to answer about your own writing.

1. If your character ran a newspaper what would the name of that newspaper be?

What would three articles be about? Name them and write one of the articles.

2. If you couldn’t stop coughing, and had been coughing since October-ish (or maybe even earlier) and the doctor gave you an inhaler that didn’t seem to work and neither did the antibiotic and the herbs weren’t helping, what would you do?

3. Write several haiku, one per chapter, about your novel. Yes, I know haiku is about nature. But not today. Each haiku should be a little powerhouse. THINK!

I’d love to see a couple of those, so please post.

Now I am off. But before I go, don’t you think Jennifer Lawrence looked great falling down at the Oscars? Wish I had seen that live. Her dress was amazing and she didn’t roll down the stairs like I would have, or show her bosoms like I would have and she didn’t even tip the bodice her dress off the way I would have. She done good!