Summer Lovin’

Hello Lovelies,

Here is my list:

1. I had minor surgery last week. Teeny Tiny Practically Nothing Surgery. It was the scariest thing ever. I kept thinking about how weird it was that they were going to put me to sleep and then cut me open. Isn’t that kind of weird?

And then when I woke up (after apparently thrashing around and being crazy and having to get more drugs to calm me down) I didn’t breathe so great so then we were there WAY longer than I expected and I thought for sure they had implanted something inside me while I was out. Because who would know? Is there some kind of camera or police for surgeons? Because I was OUT, people. OUT. And this happens every day. It was really quite freaky.

While I was trying to breathe, I started to write a whole horror novel in my head that has probably already been written and it was going to be really good and I can’t decide what they’d put inside me but it’d be epic. Like a microwave or a map of India.

This experience made me want to get back to writing.

2. Another part of this experience that I’d like to share even though it’s illegal, right? To know any of my medical history? Or is that just if someone else told you these creepy stories but then how would they know unless they somehow got access to my brain which could have totally happened while i was COMPLETELY asleep. Anyway, before the surgery they wheeled me into this holding area. I thought this was strange. There were five women in beds, hooked up to IVs waiting for someone to come get them and wheel them in to their operating room. This turned out to be not only strange but also awkward. Two of the ladies had men sitting by them. My man (which I never say because who says “my man?” I just did and I’m sorry about that) didn’t know he could come with me back there so he was in the waiting area.

It would have been a lot less awkward if he had come with me because here’s the thing, you can’t help but look at the others about to go under the knife. You look at them, then you look away. You wonder why they’re having surgery. You wonder if they’re scared out of their minds like you. You wonder if they ate anything after midnight because you are NOT supposed to do that. You wonder who will take care of them afterward. You wonder what they are thinking about you.

While I was wondering all these things, I overheard the lady across the way say to her husband? Boyfriend? Brother? I heard her say, I know that girl. I’ve seen her at church.

I looked at her, they were both looking at me. I looked away. I did not recognize her. Or him. They started whispering. Is that weird? Was I being rude? Should I have shouted across the room, Hey! Do we go to the same church? Is that what you said? Where do you live? Do you want to come to dinner sometime?

Or should i have just looked at the ceiling? Because that’s what I did. Except when I looked over at them again and they were still whispering and glancing at me. Luckily the doctor came in and said, So I see you are having problems with your BLANK! He said it very loud. I said, uh yeah. And he said, well, let’s give you a little cocktail to get you started and I said, Uh okay. And then I fell asleep and they implanted a monkey’s paw in my stomach so I’d always have good luck.

3. Today my oldest boy came in crying because his younger brother wouldn’t draw Mario with him. His brother yelled that he is no longer drawing Mario because he had a nightmare about him which is totally valid. Older brother was furious.

I said: you can’t MAKE him draw Mario.

He said: Why not? It’s not fair. He’s not being nice.

I said: Well, you can’t make anyone do anything. They get to choose. He gets to choose what he draws.

He said: Then you can’t make me do chores.

I said:

He said:

I said: Yes I can.

He said: Then why can’t I make him draw Mario?

I said:

Then he said: Goodbye.

And then they got in a raging fight.

I know I was supposed to say something wise and profound during this argument but it was the end of the day and I was not prepared.

How does this relate to writing? I’m not sure except I may put this exact conversation in my next book just because I want a redo.

4. This brings me to my final point that has nothing to do with the others but sort of does. Here it goes: This summer so far has not been my favorite.

It’s not been my worst. but also not my favorite. Some of the things have been frustrating for me. And happy. And scary. And funny. And sad. And hard. Very very hard.

A lot of times I don’t feel like i can express what i’m going through or what I’m feeling. HOWEVER, I can always create a character who can do it for me.

I have realized that writing, particularly fiction, is a great opportunity to think, to release, to work things out, to do things i would never really be able to do or say or try or scream in real life. I am grateful to have this release. To have the opportunity to let other people, real people made up by me, explore both physically and emotionally the hard parts of life. And the happy parts. And the scary parts.  This is a blessing and even though I resist it many days and weeks and months, I know that it brings me renewal and strength. I think publishing is nothing compared to getting to create and be rejuvenated.

I get to live through my characters and they get to live through me.

The end.

P.S. Totally Rad Summer Challenge

Reading: Read a chapter of my Hedgehog Book.

Writing: Finish (start and finish) the copyediting on my book! Yay! Must be done by the end of the month. Can I do it? Write a chapter of my book that never goes away. Start a new book.

Fun: Go on a walk with my husband in the evening. maybe get a sno cone.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Summer Lovin’

  1. I’m with you on the scary weirdness of surgery. I will never have surgery at a medical school if I can help it. I’m sure they practice all kinds of procedures on people when they’re out. Sorry for your not-fun summer so far. 😦 But yay for writing and re-dos.

  2. CLW

    A monkey’s paw is good luck?
    Are you sure?
    Once I was in a play ‘The Monkey’s Paw’ and the play didn’t end well–not just because I knitted the tie of my shirt into my character’s knitting OR because I walked offstage when another actor completely messed up his lines and I had no idea how to correct the problem (this was not the first time I have left a whole group of people waiting for something nor was it my last. In fact, I will do this till I die. But I refuse to knit again.).
    I am sorry about the surgery not going so well. That is very scary. Don’t have another one unless you really have to.
    Also, I came up with a first line when i went to bed with my sick headache and i still remembered the line when i woke up so I wrote it and sent it to Steve who said, “Oh. no.”
    I am doing copyediting, too.
    Plus I feel like puking because this headache is STILL HERE.

    • So I’m laughing because I think I meant rabbit’s paw but monkey’s foot is the kind of luck I’d get so maybe it’s appropriate. I have been having negative first lines the past few weeks and I’ve been fighting against it because I want to write a happy book. Maybe I should just give in?

      Sorry your sick, Missy. Get better.

    • Please, PLEASE go see Ron about your headaches. I think he could help. At least call him. Probably your spine is out of whack and he will whack it right back in and then give you weird exercises to do at home, BUT if you do them…like some of us mean to…they will help more, and soon you will be cured of those beastly, puking (this is my least favorite word EVER, well except for the “T” one), and the only thing you will throw up is words.

      Do this for me (because I’m a worrier) and then come and get some of the new batch of caramels and I’ll give you some for poor Ann Dee, who has a horrible monkey paw, which grants wishes, in her stomach. Eek! The dead came back to life with the wishes. Was that the play you were in? Where the dead son knocked on the door. Oh, horrible.

      Tell her to wish three good things really quick so it will be inactivated and she won’t make a mistake and her son’s head turns into Mario, and she will have wipe peanut butter off his mustache and hear that horrible “doot-doot-ta-do-doot-do” music for the rest of her life.

      And you? Well, you should just mind me and call Ron. And come by for caramels.

  3. I’ve had many surgeries in my life but having recently had my first mammogram…AWKWARD. I hope your summer morphs from not your favorite to surprisingly pleasant this last month.

    • I have never done this and I am scared. Maybe you should guest post about it so we’re all prepared. Or at least I’m prepared.

      • CLW

        I will go with you for the mammogram. I will put a bag on your head and a bag on my head (so no on knows who we are). Then we will laugh during the procedure. And we’ll have them mammogram your stomach, too.

  4. That was fun to read, AnnDee.
    Good luck on that conversation redo. I have no suggestions. In fact, I was waiting with baited (or is it bated?) breath for the outcome. (Here’s where you said, “Sorry to disappoint you, Sue.”)

    I like the idea of a character who is not having their favorite summer (which isn’t exactly what you said, but it’s what I started thinking about). Yeah, writing’s great. And since I’m unpublished I can totally agree that publishing isn’t everything.

  5. Sorry, that should be “say” not “said.” Why do I always proofread too late?

  6. benschwensch

    Hilarious! ALL of you.

    (And scary.)

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