No bananas

Dear Friends,

Right now it’s pouring rain and I love it. I love how it sounds, I love how it smells, I love how it looks and I love how it feels. It’s putting me in a great mood.

Here’s something that happened at a boot camp I signed up for without meaning to. The man in charge had a small meeting where he told us how to eat.

He was like: During all eating opportunities [he then wrote EO on the board], consume a palm sized  portion of protein and thumb sized portion of fat and a palm sized portion of vegetables or a palm sized portion of fruit–not tropical, just north american.

Everyone was scribbling notes. I was like, uh what?

And he said, are you okay?

And I was like, only north american fruits?

And he said, yeah. No mangos, pineapples, bananas.

Me: No bananas?

Him: Nope. No bananas unless it’s after a really rigorous workout.

People were nodding. Like duh, who eats bananas?

And I was like, so if I don’t get to eat bananas, where does that leave my licorice (Fat Free!), chocolate covered acai berries (HEALTHY!!!), and gummy grapefruits (North American!).

Everyone stared at me. Then he said, you’ll never get the ideal body eating like that.

Clearly I was out of place.

Sometimes I feel this way in my writing life. People will give advice or tell me how to do it: Write all day! Write every day! Write in the same place! Write an extensive synopsis! Finish three books a year!

If I’m not doing some of/or all of these things I feel inadequate or lazy or uninspired. Or like I’m never going to reach my goal because I eat bananas.

Here’s something I’ve had to learn and relearn over and over again. I’m on my own path. Everyone is on their own path despite what it might feel like. There is no right way, there is no only way, there is no best way. There’s only your way. Advice and goals  and groups are great but only if they encourage you, inspire you, and make you feel like you can do it.  If you feel discouraged or inadequate or overwhelmed, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate. You should avoid things that make you feel less than you are.

The school year for me starts tomorrow. I am excited about my class. I am excited about the projects I’m working on. I’m excited for the rain. I’m also excited that I get to write a romance in February.

A Little Bit of Love

So I was thinking about my Chicken Book–the book I loved writing–and I think I loved it so much because it had ROMANCE in it. In fact, it’s all about Drugs, Sex and RockandRollBaby. No, really.

I think every young adult novel needs to have a nice dash of romance in it.

And middle grades needs to have a bit of spice, too.

So it’s that time of year when I look in my SPAM box and see what I can glean from the cool stuff there. This time I will think about LOVE. And one can ALWAYS find LOVE in the SPAM.

And since I am thinking of putting a lot of kissing and stuff in the YA I’m working on, well, maybe some of these will inspire me. Or you! Please feel free to take any one of these. In fact, if you need a link, let me know.

1. Single Christians in your area are looking for YOU.

2. Meet singles over 50–It’s FREE TO LOOK.

3. Penis Growth Sample–Your package is set to grow.

4. Last more than an hour today

5. Force Factor–Free Testosterone Booster has Explosive Results

And my favorite:

6. Life is Short. Have an affair.

What makes A Perfect Romance for you?

I looked this up online because the internet has tons of great stuff, right?  There’s a book out there called A Perfect Romance, which is an adult novel that’s supposed to be funny (mixed reviews). There’s also a TV movie called Perfect Romance where a mom uses a dating service to help her–well, I couldn’t read any more than that and when I pressed on the link is said ILLEGAL stuff was happening.

Here’re some of the things I like in a perfect romance. And this is not mentioning terrific language and strong plot. Those are a given, right?

a perfect partner–there has to be some tension

a perfect kiss–there has to be lots of these

some hilarious stuff–and even more of this

some sad-ish stuff–but not like that one Louise Plummer lady writes!

Some naughty stuff–and don’t put your naughty stuff off-screen. Let us see it. Plus–naughty stuff depends on YOU. It doesn’t  have to be sex. Or even related to sex. Naughty stuff to me is sometimes a touch. Or a stolen vehicle.

Here are some links to check out to help you with your romance writing.

http://www.millsandboon.com.au/perfectromance

http://voices.yahoo.com/five-tips-writing-romance-novel-editors-1048153.html

And then there’s this. All you have to do is fill in the blank.

http://www.healinglovenotes.com/perfect-love-letter.html

And don’t you think we should all take a month–the same month (February????)–and all write our own romances? There probably IS a Romance Writing Month. But think of all of us writing our Fantasy, Contemporary, Dystopian, Mystery, etc together and then celebrating at a romantic restaurant. Yes, that writing marathon would be fun.

I’m off on my morning walk and to think about what sexiness to add to this latest ghost story.

One last SPAM help me.

You Got What I Want and Baby it Ain’t as Cheap as I Need but it is Way Bigger.

(Okay, I made that up.)