WIFYR is always a happy place. I was only there one day and a little bit but all the good and tired and productive feelings of conferences past rushed back as soon as I got out of my car.
There is such goodness in writers. Such charity and thoughtfulness and community.
But then back to real life:
Yesterday in the morning, surrounded by many small people, I thought, “I am lonely.”
Then I thought, “That’s weird. I have so much to do. I have these kids who have questions and demands and funny insights and whole worlds to explore. How could I ever feel lonely?”
But I do sometimes. And I did yesterday. And maybe I feel that every day to some extent. At some point.
I think, or rather I hope, this is normal. That whether we’re at work with co-workers and friends, or home with kids and clothes, or at school with peers and classmates, there are times when we feel like we’re alone. That no one knows how this, this feeling inside, feels. That everyone else is happy or full or connected and we’re not.
That’s why I love books.
That’s why I need books.
And it’s also why I think we need books and each other.
In my mini-class, someone mentioned how she loved a book, felt deeply connected to it and then, come to find out, someone she didn’t see eye to eye with, someone “completely different” than her, felt the same connection. It brought them closer. It allowed them to talk in a way they hadn’t been able to talk ever before.
Sometimes i think, why don’t we all just say the hard things? Why don’t we be honest with each other all the time? But then I think. No. It’s too difficult to do that all the time. And maybe there is a time and a place and a relationship that needs to be there before we feel like we can do that. HOWEVER, if we write, write every day, and not even about the hard things necessarily, but about what comes into our head and our heart without too much thinking, maybe through our characters or our settings or our plots, we unconsciously work some of these hard things out on the page.
And then maybe someone reads it.
And then maybe someone else reads it.
And maybe they talk about it.
Here’s to books.
And delicious caramels that I got at the conference that my boys and especially my husband gobbled.
And of course, here’s to hard things and happy things and making the most of both.
3 responses to “Teeth”
I know that loneliness feeling and I will tell you, privately, what I think it is. Glad you liked the caramels. The amazing Lynne made them. Yum!
I’m glad I got to see you for a moment last week. I love how books are my and my father’s ‘thing’ and whenever we talk, it’s always about what we’re reading and loving. It’s become a thing for me and my oldest as well…we talk about stories and characters constantly. Books are magic that way.
I wonder about that loneliness thing too. I love the idea that through writing I can express the part of me that feels that way, and hope it resonates with someone else.
I just finished The End or Something Like It. Loved it, maybe partly because of what your post just described. And Snickers and balloons at funerals!