These past few days have been really good for me.
My agent, Steve Fraser, was here. He gave a terrific talk on Wednesday night to a crowd who sat on the floor and up the stairways and all around the room (INCLUDING sitting in chairs!). He spoke of joy. It was lovely and inspirational.
I’ve been thinking of my writing life. What I want to do with it. How I need to change things or not change them. What is important to me.
And there has been this other stuff.
And the other stuff has gotten into my very heart and stabbed at it with ice picks and as the stabbing has gotten worse, I’ve begun to build this wall around me and how I feel.
Can a writer do that?
Well, yes, they can. I have.
Should they?
I’ve got all these new, weightier things to think about. Personal things.
Most times I don’t want to think about them. Feel them. Hurt from them.
But
but the deal is, all this stuff, will, in the end, influence my writing.
So I have to be available emotionally. Not just for the good of my life and the people in my life, but otherwise, what good am I as a writer?
We write Truth. That means we have to be willing to feel all things icky and hard and gross and awful and happy and joyous and amazing because our readers need that Truth.
As I have peered sideways at things going on lately, even when I see I don’t like me very much as I gaze on these weightier things, I can see that this has been a good few days.
Sad. Hard.
Emotional.
Yes. Good.
Throwing Up Words 
Carol, That was such a good meeting. Stephen Fraser is terrific. I’d been feeling rather discouraged about the book I’m writing and he was very encouraging. I’m so glad that Cheri invited me and I’m glad to be able to read your posts.
I’m sorry you’re going through so many hard things. But you are doing wonderful things such as your writing but also your support of other writers. Hang in there! Love, Karen
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If YOU knew you as WE know you, you would know extraordinary things about yourself. You would know of your goodness, your compassion, your extreme care for the struggling writer–helping them while being careful not to wound their fragile confidence. You would know about your loyalty, your lack of bitterness, and your forgiveness. What you MAY lack is the joy he talked about and I hope he helped you to learn how to obtain it. I wish I had heard his talk but I’m glad you and so many others did.
I just read Almost Home, about a 12-year-old, who along with her mother, became homeless. Then her mother lost her sanity. The book had tragic elements but there was an underlying thread of something I can’t quite put my finger on. It gave me hope. Admittedly the 12-year-old was smarter and more quick witted than any 12-year-old I know so that part didn’t always ring true but it was a delightful, quick read and when I finished I wanted everyone to read it. I have already passed it on once. It was read in two days so it’s back for me to pass on again.
Please know you are an amazing woman, more amazing than anyone I know. Elizabeth says so too, quite often. Yes, we discuss you. How could we not? We hardly know anyone else who is so famous and extraordinarily wonderful.
Oh, Lynne. You are always so kind.