Twelve Days of Zombie Christmas

I’m not sure why my thoughts turn to zombie verse when I should be writing; maybe it’s because I’m brain dead?  Or maybe it’s because Andy didn’t share any birthday cake or leftover Chuckie Cheese Pizza?  Or maybe it’s because Carol Lunch Williams still hasn’t paid me for my bloggering nor has she promoted me from junior assistant co-blogger of Throwing Up Words, Inc.?  Or maybe because when  I was in junior high and should have been doing homework, I was daydreaming about the creepy NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD movie I had seen too many times?

Or maybe I’m just hungry?

 

on the first day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the second day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

two bloody skulls

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the third day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the fourth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the fifth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the sixth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the seventh day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the eighth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the ninth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the tenth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the eleventh day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

eleven people shrieking,

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

on the twelfth day of Christmas, my zombie gave to me…

twelve runners stumbling,

eleven people shrieking,

ten lords a freakin’

nine ladies running,

eight spades for whacking,

seven blondes for eatin’,

six geese for flaying,

five gory things,

four screaming nerds,

three fresh hands,

two bloody skulls,

and some cartilage from a left knee.

 

merry christmas, you all.  sleep tight, and don’t let the zombies bite.

There’s Always a Turn. Always.

I Didn’t Sleep Last Night

But I wrote a post, marking the minutes as they passed.
It’s too down. Too depressing to put up here.
After all, this is the best time of year, right?
And I shouldn’t feel this way.

Once, when I was very young, my little sister and I heard Santa on the roof.
It was Christmas Eve.
We heard his sleigh bells.
We heard the scuffling of feet above us.
We were at my grandmother’s house.
We lay in bed then closed our eyes but knew right then and there that Santa did come to little girls’ homes when they were awake.

I love that memory.

In first grade I defended Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and some cartoon characters and the guy with the pot o’ gold and vampires almost to blows.
Second and third grade, too.
And fourth.

It’s embarrassing to find out in fourth grade none of those good things are what they seem for everyone else and so we have to fight
–for the right
–to par-tay.

And to believe.

So I taught my girls that we give because we love and that Santa was a great guy who lived a long time ago and gave to those he saw who had nothing.

Every year, no matter our own circumstances, we try to give to those who have nothing because, damn it, we have a lot.

Here’s what I know–a character who believes in Santa is different than one who doesn’t.
Make your character an individual.
One who hears the sleigh bells and punches the snotty dark brown-haired girl in the nose.
Or, make her the snotty brown-haired girl.
Either way, make her real.

Here’s an aside story.
When Kyra was just over two, a well-meaning friend got face-to-face with her (a big mistake in Kyra’s book) and said, “What’s Santa bringing you for Christmas?”
We were in a busy store. Lots of people milling about.
“Santa’s dead.” Kyra said this in a loud voice and with authority–the way she still says stuff.

Kinda the same voice she used when she asked me if we were in Satan’s church when we went to visit someone else’s place of worship.

Hmmm. Satan and Santa are spelled sorta the same.
And I believe in both those guys.
No matter–it was Santa on the roof that night.

Merry Christmas.

December is HERE!

It is officially December and that means the big countdown begins. Project Writeway is in the works and we think it will be the perfect way to welcome in the new year. For now, here is a writing exercise advent calendar  to keep your holidays merry and bright! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

1. Guess what? Writing is hard. Make a realistic goal, one you can control, for the month of December. December tends to be pretty busy. Keep that in mind. But remember, you get nowhere if you don’t just do it. WRITE IT DOWN and post the goal in your shower (laminating might be a good idea).

2. Your MC starts to itch. And itch. And itch. Write the scene.

3. Describe your favorite meal in detail.

4. Once upon a time there was a witch with eleven fingers and a dog named ear wax . . . finish the fairy tale in less than 200 words.

5. Put your MC in the holiday spirit and then let him/her find out Santa (you know what I mean) doesn’t exist.

6. Something new has cropped up in your MC’s life. What is it? How does it change her?

 7. Writing is a balance game. Do you have enough sense of place, emotion, dialog, forward story movement and etc. try to look at your story objectively–try to see it with new eyes. And maybe you know someone who can read your book for you and give HONEST feedback?

8.  Find a newspaper article about a teen. Start a story about this kid and write for fifteen minutes.

9. Take three pages from your novel and switch point of view. If it’s first person, rewrite it in third and vice versa.

10. A boy is standing on the top of taco bell . . . Finish the scene.

11. Lots of times we start our thinking our novels are about one thing and then we find out we were totally wrong. What new things are you finding out about your book? List them.

12. Use the first line of a Christmas song to start a story.

13. Write a letter from one character in your book to another.

14. Go for a hot chocolate somewhere. Sit by a table of people and write down their conversation. Don’t get caught. Listen to the way they interact–the things that interest them, the way they listen.

15. Your MC gets fifty texts while he/she’s in class. What’s wrong?

16. Write about a time you lied.

17. List everything that is in your MC’s backpack.

18. Use these words in your fifth chapter: significant, pain, crummy, slapstick and atrocious.

19. Write a bad family Christmas letter. The opposite of the ones you usually get in the mail.

20. What description is the exact opposite of your MC? Of the secondary characters? Of the bad guy? Know your characters, inside and and out. Now looking at these lists you’ve created about your characters–do you think anyone is too good or too bad? Write this down.

21. You’re throwing a holiday party. There’s a knock at the door. You open it and your heart drops. Who is it?

22. Write a 200 word holiday romance. Include the words truck, frosty the snowman, and Moscow.

23. Draw a picture of your childhood bedroom. Label everything and then write for fifteen minutes.

24. Your MC is invited to a white elephant party. What does he/she bring?

25. CELEBRATE! Write one Christmas wish for each of the characters in your book.