I have about an hour

to write

and then I shall get my mom up and get the day going for her

plus, there are so many chores to be done

 

But for now

 

writing.

 

I have a friend who’s getting ready to quit her job and just write full time. She’s a serious girl when it comes to her writing. She’s smart and good at what she does. She’ll be a success, I think. Finally doing something she loves.

For years now I should have been writing full time. I’ve always let my worries get in the way. My fears. The housework.

And of course I still have family at home and that has always taken precedence.

 

If you could write full time, how would you arrange your day?

What would you do differently?

It’s time for me to think, to plan, this for myself.

 

Perhaps I need to think not in hours, but in words.

 

I know a writer who locked her kids away from her as she worked. Left older siblings with screaming babies, so she could write.

I know of women who have chosen careers over children.

To each his own. We each have our own set of rules–what we will allow, what we can tolerate. (Mette Ivie Harrison has spoken about boundaries. I like what she’s said.)

 

At this point in my kids’ lives, I’m not ready to lock them out. I want my older girls to always be able to find me. My youngest to be able to walk in when she needs me. Me to go looking for them and find them. I need hugs too, ya know.

 

Anyway, I’m thinking a lot about how I want to fashion myself as a writer. I figure I have two years before I need to really be able to stand on my own, with no support from anything else.

 

Speaking of children, I know someone who’s raised a possible serial rapist or serial killer. Kid’s missing a conscience, maybe?(No. I’m not joking.) Maybe I’ll write about THAT this morning.