1. Good writing is in the details.
Ann Dee came to my class on Tuesday and talked about voice. And she said ‘write more concrete, solid details, instead of using adverbs and adjectives.’
a. What does she mean?
In my fifth book My Angelica, Sage, who wants to be a writer has created a character (Angelica) who is deeply in love with a one-eyed man. Here’s a short scene.
“Angelica performed CPR on her Indian lover. His lips were blue. Both of his eyes were closed. At least Angelica thought they were. One eye was covered by a bearskin eye patch. The other lay limply in its socket. . . .
Angelica’s perfectly curled hair trembled with fear. Her white-gloved hands looked even whiter on her lover’s bare chest. . . .
(She saves him. And then . . . )
Angelica, he signed to her. You have saved me. Will you be my squaw?
Angelica, kneeling at his feet, read the signs, impatiently at first, then triumphantly.
Yes, she signed back fluently. Her skill with language was like her skill with CPR.”
b. Write your own lover’s scene. Use detail. Rich detail. No adverbs. Strong language.
Please share.
2. OLIVE GARDEN IS STILL OPEN! It just has no shingles! So that means we can go there for our dinner.
Ann Dee will come up with a date for before the end of September.
Please come to eat. And talk books. Maybe someone will give a short chat on strong language. Or maybe we will just swear at each other.
Bring 250 words (or less) to read from a book you are working on.
3. Look at a scene you have already written. How do you rewrite using concrete details?
4. One of my favorite writers, Karen Foxlee, has a new book out. It’s called The Midnight Dress. I can’t wait to read it.
Throwing Up Words 