Contest entries!
- Read all of them.
- Make a comment about what you like about them so the writers can get feedback.
- Email me with your choice for the winning entry. anndeeellis@gmail.com
- Eat halloween candy and cuddle up by the fire until the winner is announced.
1. Scary
by Screech McGillicutty
I am next.
There is little time.
Three of us went up the mountain. The locals told us not to stay after dark. They told us to hurry down at twilight. But the rain pelted us. We hid in a cave.
The sun went down. The shadows danced up. The Things came out, their glowing green eyes searching the cracks where we hid.
The darkness shields me from the sight, but I can hear. The screams. The crunching—of bones, I think. The slurping of the Things eating. The torture of my friends dying.
I am last.
I wait.
3. Nightmare
by anonymous
I sat upright, gasping, clutching at the sheets. My room was silent and dark, and colder than it should be. My throat was dry. I needed water.
There was a small white rectangle on the carpet.
I picked it up, turned it over. A school photograph of a stranger: a girl, long red hair, staring green eyes. As I studied her image, her neck started bending backward at a sickening, unnatural angle, mouth gaping in a silent scream.
I turned to run, but something grabbed my hair, pulling my head back. I tried to scream, but no sound came.
4. Halloween Tryst
by Rosemary Reaper
I am pieces and parts. I’m not whole.
But I have a purpose.
That, Doc says, makes me important. Special.
If I’m so special, I say, how come I don’t get to be whole?
Because, Doc says, you are second. And she…she is first.
I glance at my double—it’s like looking in a mirror. Except she has ten fingers and two legs and lungs and hair and skin.
I don’t. Because she stole it from me for herself.
What happens when I run out of parts? I say.
You are second, Doc says, frowning. But you are not last.
6. Playground
by Scary Hairy
Once there was a haunted playground where no one wanted to play.
There were slides and swings and bars and nets and a woman who sat there all day.
Why is she there? the kiddies would ask as they watched her from far far away.
Shhh, said their parents, holding them tight, it’s a reason we’d rather not say.
For the parents, they knew, the woman out there, had been dead for many a ray.
She sat all alone, waiting for friends who with her would sit and decay.
Okay, AnnDee, I’m giving comments on each like you asked…
Screech McGillicutty is cute scary. I’d say MG. I had to read the last paragraph more than once to know who was who. Overall nice plot twist having the humans scare the ghouls. Good job!
Amazing Bob is really scary like a horror movie (which I avoid because I actually do get scared). Nice wording contrast–sun went down shadows danced up. Nice and creepy. Nice suspense. Good job!
Anon (Nightmare). Gripping, seems very personal. Mysterious. I want to know who the girl in the photograph is. The parallel of the silent scream and the m/c silent scream is intriguing, but also an echo. Good job!
Elvira Grim is grim (hahaha). Intense YA. I’m happy ugly girl took control. I don’t think the m/c is gonna have the “fun” he expected. Note that it starts with uncertain m/c “we” and “us” but then becomes specific “I”. Good job!
Rosemary Reaper is eerie and a little disturbing, but interesting and intriguing as well. I had to read it a couple of times to really get it. The ending begs for more. If m/c is second, but not last, who is third? Good job!
Scary Hairy is a cool rhyme. Since it is told from narrator’s perspective it has a feeling of distance, but it feels like it is a picture book so that would be good so it wouldn’t be too frightening for younger children. Good job!
Good job everyone. I think there are several books in waiting!
Ohh…these are nice and spooky, perfect for today. I’ll just comment on a few: Nice job all around!
1I really liked making the ghosts creeped out by the people, the spilled milk for the lack of stomach ghost and the noises at the end of the story. Fun read.
2 is wonderfully creepy. I can envision getting caught in the storm and the Thing coming:) I’m not a grammar expert, but this line threw me off: “The darkness shields me from the sight, but I can hear. The screams.” Maybe no period after hear? I might omit “the torture of my friends dying.” Great job.
4-I had to read it twice to understand what was going on. Talk about high creep factor…this one had it. I might omit the last word, Crack! We’re already assuming it’s coming, but this way we can also imagine other scary in between:)
5. I had to read this one twice as well. Are there thirds? What a bad, bad, doctor!
#5
These are all so good, it’s hard to pick one!
1. I love the visual of the milk spilling, and the way you refer to the kids by their costumes. Really cute story.
2. Very creepy. I like the combination of short and long sentences, and the visual of glowing green eyes.
3. Love how the mc sees what is going to happen in the picture before it does. Great for spooky ghost stories around the campfire.
4. The line, “We entered a family room emptied of everything the fleeing homeowners could pry lose.” was my favorite in the whole group of stories. (Probably because we’re moving to a house that was basically abandoned five years ago and is still full of stuff. It’s really creepy, even though we know the story behind it.)
5. I love this idea. I think this one makes a great teaser for a longer story. I really want to read more.
6. I really like this one. It’s the perfect little tidbit of scary. I have a soft spot for spooky playgrounds and this one created a clear picture in my mind.
Thanks for the great Halloween read!